Cherry-Lickety-Split

My bedtime is now about 1am. I can't sleep, its my own thoughts and nightmares that keep me up and staring at my roof. I think about things I don't want to, I daydream about things that won't happen, I create the perfect stories and characters only to forget everything in the morning. I do remember a few nights I have slept well, that is in fact in the arms of the one I love. It's strange. But he's the only one that can chase away those nightmares, keep those invading thoughts out of my head. I am pondering things these days. Pondering important things, trival things, things that don't mean anything to anyone but me, and last of all, pondering when I will ever get another decent night sleep. But it seems I'm lucky because That will be soon.

I have ideas, hundreds of them. sitting in my brain. Invading my dreams, my nightmares, my absent mind, my day dreams. But they just sit there and swirl through my skull, creating pictures and patterns of such intense beauty. I am dying to put them on paper. But they refuse to flow out of the ink. so I take photos, I dream, I sketch, I read, I scribble paragraphs only to abandon them. I write when I am troubled. Or in the dead of night when everyone is asleep and can't hear the pain. I don't know what stops these thoughts. But I think I don't want people to see my ideas. My head is private space where no one can invade. Its strangely beautiful there. I just wish my words could form the stories I want...